My First Meal in Hong Kong

I was famished by the time I finally arrived in Hong Kong, so after a quick chat with some fellow travelers I headed straight to the noodle restaurant next door to the hostel.

Arriving solo, I was seated alone at a table for six, and after a massive communication breakdown with the waiter I managed to order some food - a bowl of noodles, sausage slices, chicken wings, and foolishly the home made spicy sauce. By the time my meal arrived I had been joined at the table by five Hong Kong residents whose eyes carefully tracked the path of the dish that was placed in front of me. It was at this point I remembered that I had no idea how to use chopsticks. The noodles could be shovelled into my mouth by lowering my head to the level of the bowl, the sausage slices could be crudely stabbed through the middle, and the sauce could be slurped up using the spoon, but how on earth do you eat chicken wings using chopsticks?

Leaving the chicken wings until last, I persevered sloppily and soon realised why ordering the spicy sauce was foolish - the spice was doing a number on my sinuses and with no tissue in sight, fluid was pouring out of my nose and down my face. As my mucus covered face clumsily ingested the noodles I was fully aware of how dreadfully rude I was likely being to those sharing a table with me.

By the time I was down to the wings each spoonful of sauce was being accompanied by some fluid flowing freely from my nostrils. I decided to cut my losses and picked up the wings with my hands, scoffed them down, wiped my greasy fingers on my bill and hastily paid and left, without looking back.

It was, however, a delicious meal and a real bargain at the equivalent of less than 3 pounds.

I sincerely apologise to those who had to share a table with me at this Hong Kong restaurant. I am sorry if I offended you.