Blood On My Hands

WARNING:  VEGETARIANS MAY FIND THE FOLLOWING POST DISTURBING.

Sure, I've eliminated countless ants in my time. Yes, I've drowned wasps by luring them into jam and water filled jars. Admittedly, I've pinged elastic bands against daddy long legs helplessly stationed on desks, sending legs flying in all directions. But I have never killed an animal. Until Friday that is, when I was involved in the cold blooded murder of six innocent chickens.

My host farmer's mum decided that her chickens were being way too noisy, so requested that we do something about it. I expected the killing would be carried out with a degree of subtly, so I was surprised when the farmer emerged from the ute with a Midsomer Murders style axe! He nipped into the chicken pen, identified a couple of victims and snatched, then held the birds by the feet - one in each hand - and passed them to me. I positioned the unfortunate chicken so that its head rested on a log and the farmer delivered the blow. If at this point you're picturing chicken heads hurtling through the air, then you might be disappointed to learn that the axe was briefly held in place as the head was still intact, but only until I yanked back the legs leaving the poultry parted. The decapitated bird flapped around manically and it would have been fun to let it go and watch it charge around like a headless chicken. However, I quickly dropped it into a bucket of hot water to cease its movement and warm it up to ease the plucking process.

The plucking was tedious as chickens are covered in feathers from head to toe to wing and while some feathers could be pulled off in bunches, others had to be removed individually. After this was finally complete it was time for the gutting. I was just a spectator for this part, which involved breaking off the feet and reaching inside the chicken to pull out its inners. It was interesting to see all the organs laid bare and the cat certainly enjoyed this offering of offal.

You may think that my participation in the slaughtering of those six chickens and subsequent writing about it is cruel and distasteful, but I've eaten meat most days of my life and I am under no illusions about its origin, so personally I don't see a problem. Actually, I can't wait to eat them.